If the phrase self-love makes you want to roll your eyes or click away—you’re not alone. But hang in there with me for a minute, because this might be more practical than you think.
You have to spend your whole life with you—so let’s make that relationship a good one.
There’s this strange resistance in our culture—especially in the U.S.—to the idea of self-care and self-love. We label it as soft, indulgent, or “woo-woo,” and we push it aside in the name of productivity. But if we zoom out and think about it logically: if you wouldn’t commit your life to someone you didn’t like, why tolerate that in your relationship with yourself?
The Dalai Lama once said he couldn’t understand how common it is in the West for people to dislike themselves. In his culture, that self-rejection is so rare it’s confusing. I think that’s heartbreaking. And I also think it explains a lot about the struggles we see around physical and mental health.
Because at the root of any health journey—before the barbells, before the macros—comes one essential question:
Do you like the person you’re living with, inside your own head?
If not, that’s okay. But it’s worth exploring.
It starts the same way we’d approach a strength goal: with a self-check.
- Where am I at right now?
- What habits lift me up? What drags me down?
- What thoughts about myself show up most often?
Coach Katie’s been doing a two-week journaling practice where she writes down every judgmental thought she has—whether it’s about herself or someone else. And the insight has been powerful. That nonstop chatter? It’s shaping how we see ourselves, often without us realizing it.
So here’s a quick practice to try:
Think of something you often judge in yourself. Maybe you tell yourself you’re lazy. Maybe you think you’re too emotional. Too scattered. Too intense.
Now flip the coin.
For me, it’s discipline. I’ve struggled to stick to rigid schedules. But the other side? I’m adaptable. I thrive in flexible environments. That adaptability has taken me amazing places—places I couldn’t have gone if I were locked into a rigid plan.
Maybe your quick temper actually stems from deep passion. Maybe your sensitivity is what makes you empathetic. The trait you wrestle with might have also been your superpower all along—you just haven’t reframed it yet.
This isn’t about denying our weaknesses. It’s about seeing the full story.
Your mental health is the soil everything else grows in—your habits, your recovery, your progress, your relationships. That’s why this topic won’t be a one-time thing. We’ll keep revisiting it, because it matters.
For today? Just notice. And maybe take one of those traits you’re always hard on yourself about… and see if you can spot its hidden strength.
Then go be kind to yourself.
You’ve got to live with you—and that relationship can either be a battle or a gift. Let’s make it the latter.
