We had a friend and member who used to come to our gym and took a break come back recently. And she was vulnerable and courageous enough to share some insights with us as to what her journey has been like.
And it made me tear up. She touched on so so many different things that are all so human, and that I think we all can relate to.
It’s the archetypal story arc that we all go through. We set out on life with dreams and goals and things we want. And then life happens. We run into struggles, and lose, and get derailed or lost. But it’s never too late to get back on track. To take back your strength and courage, and be the person we want to be. Or more importantly, to start taking the steps to be that person.
Life is hard. For everyone. No exceptions. And I think far, far too many of us struggle alone. We think no one else deals with the problems we have. That for other people, XYZ is easy and there’s something wrong with us because it’s so hard to do “the thing.”
And it’s because most of us don’t talk about the struggle and the hard stuff—because it sucks to talk about. Hell, it sucks to think about, so lots of us don’t even do that.
But there is real beauty and hope in finding and realizing there are other people around you going through the same thing.
Because at the end of the day, we can’t do life alone. We weren’t meant to. And it’s a hell of a lot easier with other people in your corner. But they don’t show up magically. You have to be willing to put yourself out there to find them.
And it doesn’t happen overnight. It happens one little choice at a time, over and over and over again. Until one day you wake up and it did seemingly happen overnight. All of a sudden you magically have a person or people in your life that you needed. You all of a sudden can do all those things you wanted to do. Sometimes it might feel like it happens overnight—but it doesn’t. It’s day after day, month after month, year after year of consistent choices. But they are small and they sneak up on you.
Karey is making those small choices. She is taking back time for her. She is working at the level that is good for her body. One walk at a time, one workout at a time. Not punishing workouts, just loving care and attention to her body and herself. And it’s beautiful to be there to support her.
In Karey’s own words:
“Before the pandemic, I spent a couple years at Formidable. At the time my goals seemed straight forward: I wanted my old clothes to fit again. I used to run races just for fun, and I missed the feeling of being light, strong, and confident in my own skin. I wanted to be that woman again. I wasn’t the youngest in the room, there were a few older faces, but I often found myself in classes surrounded by moms chatting about their kids while I was the one picking up my granddaughter from school.
I never quite reached my goal weight and I take full responsibility for that. Consistency was my biggest hurdle. I stayed committed through COVID, but eventually, work consumed me. I tried to keep pace, but the work life balance I needed never materialized. Old injuries lingered, and my cardio still wasn’t what it had been 15 years ago. Although I often felt like the oldest woman in the room, I also felt stronger than all of my friends. And I found pride in that. Even when I doubted myself, that strength reminded me of what I was capable of.
Then came the heartbreaks; losing my dad, my stepdad, and my stepson. Life became a blur of responsibilities, emotions, and the weight of supporting others through loss. Faced with too much to carry, I made the easier choice: I stepped away from the gym instead of figuring out how to carry it all.
It’s wild how gaining just a pound a month sneaks up on you. Twenty five pounds later, I saw a photo of myself and thought, What have I done? That moment of desperation led me to reach out. I went for a long walk with my coach and friend, Katie, and something clicked. It felt like coming home; safe, familiar, like family. I hadn’t realized how much I missed it.
As we continued to talk, I did some soul searching. Why was I back? Sure, I want my old clothes to fit. I want my husband to find me attractive. I want to look and feel younger, to keep up with our grandkids. But more than anything, I want this time to be mine. This is about me: my strength, my journey, my life. Not my job. Not my husband. Not the grandkids or family responsibilities. Just me.
I told Katie I’d return but only on one condition. She leaned in with a smile and said, “Do share.” I said, “I’m coming back exactly as I am. I’m going to train for my strength level. I’ll push to my max heart rate, not someone else’s. I’ll do the work, but I’ll also be able to walk tomorrow.” She didn’t hesitate. “That’s all I want for you,” she said. “And we’re here to help you do exactly that.”
We then talked a lot about the friends we’ve lost; those who didn’t get the privilege of growing older, of wearing the wrinkles and scars that come with being sixty-plus years old. That conversation reminded me: this body, with all its history, is something to honor not to punish or neglect. One day, I told a coach I’d “cheated” on the bike and didn’t hit all the calories. He looked at me and said, “You what?” I grinned and corrected myself: “I scaled the bike.” He smiled and said, “If you showed up, you didn’t cheat yourself.”
So what’s my goal now? It’s simple. I want to stay strong enough to always lift my own luggage into the overhead bin without anyone’s help.
That says everything. It’s about staying capable, staying adventurous, and never letting life pass me by. I want to keep living boldly, keep exploring, and keep proving to myself that I can. Because this journey isn’t just about weight or fitness, it’s about freedom. Strength is my passport.”
If you’re not sure how to get started with taking care of yourself. We here to talk.
